Monday, March 17, 2008

You know it is the end of the quarter when...

Just had to share a couple of e-mails from a couple of lovely students:

E-mail #1:"I was wondering if we have class this upcomingMonday. Thank You."

Note: We had a final exam today (Monday)

E-mail #2: "I hate to bother you with this but.... I just checkedmy final grade and I have a 89.89. I was justwondering if that was close enough to bump my grade upto a 90 because an A in A&P II would look SO GOOD onmy [program of intent] application. If it could bedone I would greatly appreciate it. If not, Iunderstand (I guess).

Email #3: "I understand that it's a little late for this, but I was wondering if there was any way that I could do something to bring my grade up to a 70. I know that it's a little far fetched, but my work schedule has just been so ridiculous the past two months and I have been studying, I just got so flustered this morning when we were taking the test and after I left, I could remember so many answers to so many of the questions that I know that I got wrong and so I wondering if there was anything, anything that I could do. I would come in and take another test or write a report for you that can be due tonight."

Monday, February 25, 2008

She dropped

The writer of the e-mails that were the subject of my previous post has withdrawn from my class, thank GOD!

Here are the e-mails that led up to the event:

"Is it possible to make up today's bonus quiz? I can do it at any time that you are available."

My reply: "No it is not possible. Please refer to the make up policy in the syllabus on Blackboard."

Her reply: "Since the entire class was unaware of this pop quiz, I feel that I should be able to make it up. The make up policy describes lecutre exams and lab quizzes but doesn't refer to pop quizzes or quizzes that the students are unaware of. Thank you for taking the time to read this."

My reply: "This was a BONUS quiz...not a pop quiz. It was a BONUS quiz to supplement the quiz grades from lab last week (something which I totally did not have to do). The make up policy does specifically mention Other Assignments and Extra Credit:

Other Assignments and Extra Credit:
  • Any missed in-class assignments cannot be made up
  • Any missed extra credit work cannot be made up
  • Extra credit questions on exams cannot be made up
(I don't know where to put the quotation marks)"

And her last reply: "I would like to drop your class but I am unable to doso online. It says Winter '08 is not available for add/drop. Do Ineed a letter/recommendation from you saying that I wish to drop yourclass? If so, who do I give it to?"

Powerpoints are not substitutes for notes

This was actually in response to a response I wrote the student when she e-mailed to tell me that the book website I have on Blackboard confused her because there are three links for each chapter. These links are for chapter outlines. One link is in a document format, one is in a powerpoint format, and the other is in html format. All have the same information, just different formats. I explained that to her and this is what I got back...

"Ok, that has helped. When you use a powerpoint in class, do you put that on blackboard? I guess what my main point was that I would like to have the exact powerpoint that you use in class so that I have the exact information you would like us to know. The three different formats on Blackboard have lots of information but sometimes you don't go over all of it. Is it possible for you to put up the powerpoints that you use the day/days before that class so that i can take additional lecture notes? Sometimes it is difficult to find what you are going over in the links online."

My reply to this:

"Yes, the powerpoints I use from class are on Blackboard. For example, for Chapter 7, this is what you will see when you click on the folder for Chapter outlines and powerpoints:

Chapter 7
06-01_images.ppt (1.928 Mb)
06-02_pptlect.ppt (2.059 Mb)
From February 4th and 5th
I even have the date of the lectures for these.

No, I can't put them up early, because sometimes I am still editing them the morning of class."

And her reply:

"Could we set up an appointment to talk about this in more detail? I was hoping that an appointment after class could work. Could we make an appointment for after tomorrow's lecture?"

You know, it seems like the more you do for students the more they find to complain about.

Friday, February 8, 2008

How fast can you grade?

Annoyingly Anxious Student: "I'm having difficulties with my reading assignments.The last two I submitted are not graded yet.Could you please go over them and let me know how I can improve on my grades before I submit any more?"

My reply: "I'm sorry I have not graded your reading assignments. I have not been able to grade reading assignments this week because I have been busy grading approximately 90 essays from the exam you all took on Monday. I plan on grading reading assignments over the weekend, and hopefully I will be able to grade both of yours."

Not to mention the fact that the essays were extremely tortuous...

An excerpt from a student essay who made an A in English: "Even dough there was not a life threatening result, there still was a nonverbal communication response on my face."

An excerpt from a student who has taken two college level Composition and Rhetoric classes (transferred from another "institution" so I am not sure of her grades): "While bathing his physical began to work so his skin won’t absorb water...Now Wayne is smiling and feels great. Because his head is shaved and facial hair is neat nails are clean. So now he feels well around others. And that’s a great part of social functions...While running he felt a fly on him because he was able to know that a fly way on him we know that his sensation are working great. He knocks the fly off and continues his run and he trip and fell."

An excerpt just too fucking funny not to share: "Well before you know it she’s done feel off and scrapped her knee, well now her cathelicidins kick in and as they help do, the help protect the wounded skin from infection, and then the human defensins come out and as they do, they somewhat “punch holes” in the bacteria that can cause serious infection, which if it was for these to things our ingrown toe nails and finger nails would be much worse when they occur."

Dear God, is it any wonder why half of these people fail my class? These are prime examples of the products coming out of our highschools, and now our "colleges". All I can say is that they will not be passing my class, unless it is by some freak miracle.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Proofreading is important

I have an ongoing assignment in my class where the students submit responses to reading assignments from their textbooks. In the midst of a submission, I came across this that a student had written:

"yeah trying to finish up dis stupid reading assignment on blackboard"

Do I need say more?

When I discovered it, I copied and pasted it into my powerpoint presentation for the day. I showed it to the class and explained to them that they may want to read over what they have written before they submit it to me. Better yet, they may want to consider refraining from text messaging and/or instant messaging, or whatever the case may be while they are completing an assignment. I also said that I understood that some of them may not appreciate the reading assignments so I gave them another (different) writing assignment to do. Many of them asked if the new assignment was in lieu of the other assignments and I gladly told them that no, it was in addition to. I also gladly pointed out that when I meant "in addition to" I did not mean bonus, which is something that seems to be confusing to them.

The guilty party did come up to me after class and apologized. Hopefully she understood that she should spend more time concentrating on the assignment, not that she should make sure that she did not inadvertently type something into the assignment.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Reading Questions

My students have an ongoing assignment this term. While reading the textbook they are supposed to submit responses to the following 10 times throughout the term:
  1. List definitions of unfamiliar words encountered during your reading.
  2. Tell me something you found interesting in your reading.
  3. Tell me something you found confusing in your reading.
  4. Tell me something, from the reading, that you would like to discuss in lecture.

There's also a grading rubric for this. The more thought put into the responses, the higher the grade.

Well, here's a submission I got today. Word-for-word. Nothing added, nothing omitted.

I found the entire reding on enzymes interesting. The for it that is is a work that is passed around like the word and. The book breaks down the true meaning of the work and the workings of enzymes.

WTF? WHAT THE FUCK????

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I'm not "cool" with it

"Hey Ms. A, I just wanted to let you know that our flight was going to be delayed tomorrow and we had to catch an early flight out. I hate that I am taking this trip the first week of school, but I can promise you that I wont be missing any more days. I really appreciate you being so cool with this."

Dear Student,

I’m not “cool” with your being absent. You will still be marked as absent and you will still be responsible for learning the information you missed in lab today for the quiz you will have next week.